Robert Silverstone

M.A.D. business leadership

Victim to Victor

We all fall victim, from time to time, to events, issues and people that present themselves in all shapes and forms.  We become victims of fear, anger, guilt, disappointment and many other feelings and reactions to events that occur in our lives.

We have little control over the events themselves, but we do have the power and ability to control our reactions, the behaviors we exhibit in response to those various events.  In fact, either we control our reactions and have dominion over them, or we are controlled by those reactions and we become victim to them.

When we are victim to our reactions, we exhibit certain behaviors that tend to keep us stuck in that same victim consciousness.  When we exhibit those behaviors we are cut off from our true power and we are unable to access the inherent prosperity consciousness with which we are born.

There are many ways that we can become a victim.  What follows are just some of the more obvious behaviors we exhibit when we are embroiled in victim consciousness?

13 Primary Victim Behaviors

1.   Blame

Whenever we point the finger of blame at another individual, group of people, event or even at ourselves, we are exhibiting a victim behavior.  We are failing to take responsibility for our part in the situation or outcome of the event and when we do not acknowledge our responsibility, we relinquish control over how we choose to view a situation or outcome.  When we give up that choice, we become a victim.

2.   Judgment

By negatively labeling another individual, group of people, organization or event, even if we negatively label ourselves, we are passing judgment.  We are disempowering ourselves by the “us” and “them” separation, and when we do that we are failing to see the unity of humankind.  We separate ourselves from others by focusing on our differences when we need to be seeking the common threads that bind all of us together.  When we judge ourselves we are committing even deeper victim behavior by creating separation between who we think we are and who we really are.  When we pass judgment on anyone or anything, we are a victim.

3.   Criticism

When we find fault with others or ourselves we are focusing our attention on the negative.  A universal law states that whatever we focus our attention on will tend to expand.  If we are focused on finding the negative in a person or situation, or especially in ourselves, those negatives will tend to expand and before long we find ourselves participating in victim consciousness, often without even being aware of it.

4.   Complaining

By failing to accept that a particular situation in which we might find ourselves is less than perfect, or we simply do not like the outcome of an event or the behavior of another, we find ourselves registering a complaint.  As we can observe about negative behaviors in general, we are less equipped to see the good or positive in a person or situation if we are complaining.  Consequently, whatever we complain about will tend, before long, to breed more complaints and, once again, we behave like a victim.

5.   Denial

So many of us have in the past, or still continue to ignore aspects or truths about ourselves that, sooner or later, we will have to address.  This ignorance or denial is detrimental to ourselves, our loved ones and to our future lives.  As long as we live in denial we are failing to take full responsibility for our actions and we remain in victim consciousness.

6.   Exaggerating

Many of us, when attempting to make a point or in order to get the attention of others may tend to exaggerate.  Whether it’s about money, or accomplishments, or perhaps in denigrating others, etc., we may tend to fall victim to this practice.  In so doing, we are also telling lies or untruths which, if repeated often enough we will begin to believe as truths.  Once that happens we have stepped fully into this victim behavior which may have the potential for negative ramifications.

7.   Assuming

When we make assumptions we are filling in the gaps between the facts or what we can state as absolute truths.  We are guessing or creating fiction, and most of the time when we do that we guess wrong.  Once again, if we tell ourselves the assumption ‘story’ often enough we will tend to start believe it as truth and therein lies the potential for negative ramification, destructive, sabotaging and victim behavior.

8.   Rationalizing/Justifying

There are many of us, especially those with high intelligence and intellect that feel they can justify or rationalize their negative behavior, rather than take ownership and responsibility for it and make the necessary changes to improve their behavior.  Rationalizing and justifying negative behavior is just another excuse for not taking responsibility and being willing to make change, resulting in a continuation of a victim behavior, until there is an admission that it has to change and thereby taking responsibility for it.

9.   Defending

Much like rationalizing or justifying, defending our position, or being ‘defensive’ puts us in a weakened position and causes others to mistrust or otherwise see us as being inauthentic.  Building a positive case to support our argument and presenting it in a firm and assertive manner is taking responsibility.  Being defensive is being a victim!

10.       Neediness

We all know people who tend to be somewhat needy in their approach to life..  They need help, or money, or support of some kind, at least that’s what they think.  Certainly there are times for all of us when we might feel this way.  However, when we feel needy, that somehow what we feel we need is beyond our capacity to create or generate ourselves, we place the outcome in the hands of others or in circumstances that we believe to be out of our control and this tends to brand us as a victim.

11.       Making excuses

“I missed the appointment because the street was blocked with a stalled vehicle,” or “I missed the appointment, I apologize.”  Which expression carries more acceptance of responsibility?  Which is less about the story and more about the facts?  When we make excuses we are giving up some of our own accountability and turning it over to a third party or event.  A victim fails to take responsibility.  As long as we continue to make excuses we are behaving like a victim.

12.       Comparing

One of the most common of victim behaviors, and one that is not usually considered negative, is that of making comparisons.  “She is thinner than me,” “he is better looking than me.” “This one is smarter than that one,” etc. Perhaps we compare ourselves with a sibling, a neighbor, a co-worker or even with someone on a magazine cover who we don’t even know.  Making comparisons serves to diminish our own uniqueness and special gift to society and humankind.  It is a behavior that becomes a habit and one that is high on the list of those of the victim.

13.       Gossip

Some people, when they hear that participating in gossip is a victim behavior, become quite defensive, even indignant.  How can talking about others, a favorite pastime for many, possibly be a victim behavior?  Any time negative opinions are passed from one individual to another about a third party who is not present, that third party is being disrespected and a ripple of negative energy is being emitted into the universe.  Somebody overhears the gossip and tells the next person.  Before long the facts have been distorted for the story to become more entertaining, and soon there is a chain of victims basking in the entertainment they have created for themselves, at the expense of another or others.  In fact, listening to gossip is participating and deemed a victim behavior even if it is not being spread by the listener.  It serves to encourage the source of the gossip and fails to respect the individual about whom the gossip is being spread.

These are the 12 primary victim behaviors, any of which will contribute in some degree to the consciousness of victim.  Any or all of these behaviors are disrespectful of others or oneself.  They fail to demonstrate responsible or accountable behaviors and serve to block access to the opposite consciousness that we all seek, that of prosperity consciousness.

How do we step into the world of prosperity consciousness and change our life with one breath?   Simple!  We discontinue all and any of the victim behaviors described above for the next 30 days.  In so doing we create healthy habits that serve to take us into the magical, powerful and abundant world of responsibility, accountability and prosperity!

Connect and share:

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

© Robert Silverstone | Terms | Accessibility